The Antidote for Anxiety and Depression: Trust in Abba Father’s Care – Pt 45
The Spirit’s Supply of Grace and Strength
For I know that this shall turn to my salvation through your prayer, and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ
– Philippians 1:19
Several years ago, I discovered that I had uterine fibroids which affected my menstruation so I had excessive bleeding. As a result of the loss of blood I was severely anaemic to the point of my heart being affected so I had heart murmur. I was drained and weak all the time. I felt like something was sucking the life out of me. I remember praying one day and receiving a revelation about “life being in the blood”.
Within a few months the fibroids took over my entire uterus. The ultra sound result showed that they were tiny like clusters of grapes and distorted my uterus. They were also resting on my ureter which interrupted the function of my kidney and before long my kidney had begun to be affected. Hence, I was told by my Obstetrician-gynecologist (Ob-Gyn) doctor that I needed to have a surgery.
Almost four years ago I travelled to the USA to seek further medical attention because of the severity of my condition. I had hoped to have a myomectomy surgery but after further investigation by the Ob-Gyn in the USA, I had an emergency hysterectomy instead. The doctors said that they couldn’t save my uterus because a myomectomy would have been too risky to perform. The choice before me was, “it’s either your uterus or your kidney”.
For me that seemed like the end of my life. I was not mentally or emotionally prepared for this. I relapsed again into major depression. All sorts of thoughts went through my mind and plagued me or a very long time. I felt like for the second time in my life I lost something of value and of no fault of mine. I felt cheated, I felt like my womanhood was lost. The thought of not being able to have my own children wounded my heart, even though I had already decided a long time ago that I didn’t want to have children. I felt ashamed, ruined, worthless and had no desire to continue to live so again I attempted suicide. I grieved for a very long time and I still grieve sometimes. I remember shortly after I returned home, I was talking with my pastor about the grief and she told me to get over it. How do I just get over it? Is there something wrong with me for grieving? These are some of the questions that I silently ask inside.
I was distressed and weak in my body, soul and spirit, and I was so angry with God that I didn’t know how to pray. I felt like God was nowhere close to me. I couldn’t go it alone. I needed the presence of the Holy Spirit, His sufficient grace and strength as well as the support of my family and friends.
In difficult times the Apostle Paul knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was going to make it through. This he expresses in Philippians 1:19, “For I know that this shall turn to my salvation through your prayer, and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ.”
Let us take a closer look at the word “supply” mentioned in this verse. It is translated from the Greek word epichoregeo which is an old word meaning on behalf of the choir, and describes an enormous financial contribution of a wealthy person made to a large choral and dramatic company, to provide all it needed for a grand performance. This contribution was made because after relentless practice in preparation for this grand performance they run out of money having spent all they had in their preparation. Therefore, they had to cancel the performance. This took place in classical Greece thousands of years ago (Renner, 2003).
I like how the Greek scholar Rick Renner paraphrased Philippians 1:19, having comprehended the original Greek word used in this verse. According to Renner (2003) it could be taken to mean, “I am certain that this situation will ultimately turn around and result in my deliverance. I’m sure of it – first, because you are praying for me; and second, because of the special contribution of the Spirit that Jesus Christ is donating for my present cause.”
This tells me that we too can make it in difficult times because others are praying for us. I can personally testify to this. There are those who prayed me through many sleepless nights, many depression and anxiety, many hospitalizations, many pains, that all weakened my body soul and spirit. In those times I didn’t even know what to pray or had the desire to pray. It was the prayers of those loved ones that kept and carried me through. Some interceded on my behalf relentlessly, while my adopted mother prayed with “bulldog” tenacity – she didn’t let up until she was satisfied that I am healed and delivered. Also, very importantly, Jesus’ donation of the Spirit whose special contribution gave me grace and strength when I was too weak in my body, soul and spirit to carry on. The Spirit’s special contribution of His sufficient grace and strength made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9) brought me deliverance.
Friends, if you are experiencing difficulties in your body, soul or spirit, be it sickness, the death of a loved one, financial problems, difficult people, marital issues, rebellious children, fear and anxiety because of the uncertainties of the times we are living in due to the COVID 19 pandemic, whatever the situation is that you are facing and you can’t see a way out, know that you are not alone. There are those who are praying for you and you also have the special contribution of the Spirit that Jesus Christ is donating for your present cause. Therefore, like the Apostle Paul, you can confidently say you know for sure that this too shall pass and you will be delivered. Your deliverance is sure no matter how long it may seem.
Shalom!
MY PRAYER FOR TODAY
Daddy, I worship You for You are the Almighty God and there is non like You. I give You praise and glory. Thank you for all my loved ones whom you have given to me and whose prayers have carried me through many difficult times. Jesus, I thank You for the special contribution of the Spirit that You are donating for my present cause. I declare that in every difficult situation I am receiving sufficient grace and strength made perfect in my weakness that bring me deliverance. Therefore, I am confident that I will make it through victoriously. I declare this by faith in Jesus’ mighty name with thanksgiving. Amen!
