The Antidote for Anxiety and Depression: Trust in Abba Father’s Care – Pt 49
I Am God’s Marvellous Masterpiece!
For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
– Psalms 139:13-14
When I was growing up, I didn’t like myself. I thought I was the ugly duckling in the family. In my adolescence and young adult years I had terrible acne on my face and a double row tooth. Additionally, although I am not very tall, I have long, slender feet and arms so my fingers are very long and slender. I remember that often when I was in the presence of my mother she would comment on my long, slim fingers and that made me even more conscious of how long and slender my fingers are as I took her comments negatively. Therefore, I hated and was ashamed of my hands especially my fingers so I kept them hidden as much as I could. I love to worship and in Church where the lifting of hands is a form of surrender in worship unto God, I was afraid to lift my hands because I didn’t want anyone to see my long, slender hands and fingers. However, there were times when I lost myself being so deep in worship and without being conscious of it my hands were lifted high in the air. I was often identified by others on the Church’s Sunday television programme by my long, slender hands as they stood out in the congregation. There are other persons who have noticed my long, slender fingers and are awed by them. Some have told me that I have nice musical fingers but I tended to always focus on the negatives so I couldn’t appreciate the complements about my long fingers.
I also hated and was ashamed of my long, slender feet. I wear size 11 shoes but most size 11 shoes look clumsy on my feet because my feet are very narrow and my insteps are very flat. Hence, it’s often challenging to find good looking shoes that fit me well. When I am shopping for shoes, I am often asked by sales clerks, “what a small lady like you doing with such big feet?” This question caused me to feel ashamed of my feet even the more. Of all the females in my family my feet are the longest. Moreover, I hated my breast. I felt that they were too big and long. I remember as an adolescent one of my nieces told me that I have ‘white women’s breast’. It wasn’t a complement and in hindsight thought I didn’t understand what she meant by it, I thought that it was an undesirable thing to have breast that are compared with ‘white women’s breast’. Furthermore, I hated my abdomen because no matter how much I exercised it just didn’t seem to get as flat as I wanted it to be.
I had a distorted view of my body image which I tried to correct by exercising and starving myself from food. This eventually developed into the eating disorder anorexia nervosa. Hence, I had a very low self-esteem and lacked confidence. Oh, the things that contributed to my struggle with anxiety disorder and major depression.
I have had to claim Psalm 139:13-14 as my own to help me overcome the self-hate I experienced. It says, “For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”
With time I have learnt and I’m still learning to appreciate my body. My Fearful and Wonderful Daddy has fearfully and wonderfully made me in His image and likeness. I am God’s marvellous masterpiece, His handiwork. My soul now knows and is awakened to this truth. Therefore, I encourage my soul to give God thanks and praise Him for forming my innermost parts and knitting me together in my mother’s womb. God carefully thought about every part of my being inside and out. There were no mistakes made when He formed my long, slim hands and feet, my dentation, my breast and my abdomen. I was perfectly created by God and He was pleased that His marvellous masterpiece was very good in His sight. Now my confidence, self-esteem and self-worth are found in my Marvellous Maker.
Today, if you are struggling with low self-esteem, lack of confidence, weight issues, be it overweight or underweight and you have a distorted view of your body image; know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and God’s marvellous masterpiece, his handiwork. Your Daddy love you just the way you are. You are precious in His eyes. Let this truth sink deep down in your soul today and give God praise for His wonderful work in your life.
Shalom!
MY PRAYER FOR TODAY
Abba, my soul magnifies and praises You. I worship You with all my heart. You are my Fearful, Wonderful and Marvellous Maker. Thank You for the amazing work you have accomplished in my life. I declare that my confidence, self-esteem and self-worth are in You Jesus because I am Daddy’s marvellous masterpiece, His handiwork. I pray this by faith in Jesus’ mighty name with thanksgiving. Amen!
