The Antidote for Anxiety and Depression: Trust in Abba Father’s Care – Pt 48
Love Yourself First After God!
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
– Matthew 22:39
From a youth I took on a parentified role in my family and felt the need to take care of everyone, young and old alike. I am the eighth of 11 children and the last girl. Nevertheless, I watched over my family like a hawk to protect them from danger, especially my nieces who are all younger than I am. I was afraid that they too would have been sexually abused so I didn’t trust men around them. It didn’t matter who the men were or how old or young they were, once I was there, I couldn’t leave them alone in the presence of men. I also prayed for my family intensely day and night that they would all be saved as I was the only Christian in my home. I relentlessly reminded God that when He saved me, His Word also promises to save my household according to Acts 16:31, and I took that promise to heart. Moreover, if someone took ill, I would be there for them. I even confronted my father on three occasions about the things he did that displeased everyone, for which others complained but no one said anything to him directly. I spoke out against the wrong things done by other family members that affected everyone and again for which others complained but no one said anything directly to the ones causing the pain. I was fed-up of the complains and felt it was my responsibility to confront them because seeing others in my family hurt was agonizing for me. I needed to fix everything and everyone in my family. My family was always first and nothing was too good or valuable for me to give up for them or to give to them even if it meant making sacrifices. Hence, I became the daughter, sister and aunt that most looked to. I love my family so deeply that for me this role meant that I must be there for everyone first which meant neglecting me. I would feel guilty if I couldn’t be there for everyone because not being there for them would mean that I don’t love them. Furthermore, I put my friends before me. Once I have let someone in as my friend, I would do anything for that person even if it also meant making sacrifice. I didn’t know how to say “no”. Saying “no” meant for me that I was a failure.
I remember that there were times when I was ill to the point where I was so weak that I couldn’t get out of bed to help myself, or I was so depressed that for days I didn’t get out of bed, not even to take a shower or eat because I didn’t have the motivation nor the strength to get up. Nevertheless, during those times, if I knew that one of my family or friends needed me, I would immediately, automatically find the strength to get up and attend to their needs. I don’t know nor understand to this day how I managed to do such. The bottom line is that I am a giver by nature. I am very observant so I just have to see a need and I will meet it without being asked. I learnt as a child in Brownies that, “A Brownie Guide thinks of others before herself and does a good turn every day” and this stayed with me throughout my entire life and informed my behaviour.
However, at this very moment as I am writing this devotional, I realize how missed informed I was as a Brownie Guide because it is not scriptural to think of others before yourself. Jesus said that the second commandment is, “…Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:39). This tells me that I must think of myself first, I must first love myself before I love others because my love for myself is the measure with which I would be able to love others.
The question that just came to me and which I have never thought of before is this, “How should I love myself?” Have you ever thought about this question? How should you love yourself? You should love yourself in like manner as you love the Lord your God. Jesus mentioned that, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” (Matthew 22:37). He said, “This is the first and great commandment” (Matthew 22:38).
I can just here someone saying, “now wait a minute, are you saying that I should love myself with all my heart, soul and mind?” Yes beloved, that’s exactly what I am saying but I am only repeating what Jesus said.
Jesus began His statement in Matthew 22:39 by saying, “And the second is like unto it…”. The “second” refers to the commandment to “…love thy neighbour as thyself” and “it” refers to the first and great commandment in verse 27 to “…love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind”.
Let’s take a look at the word “like”. It will help us understand better. This is the Greek word homoios, which means similar, one and the same, just like, equal, the same with: in kind or nature (Hebrew – Greek Key Word Study Bible).
Jesus’ use of the word “like” tells you exactly that you should love your neighbour as you love yourself in like manner as you love the Lord your God, that is, with all your heart, soul and mind. The difference between the two commandments is that loving the Lord your God is the first and greatest of the two. This has to do with order of priority and not manner or the way in which you love the Lord you God, yourself and others. God must always be your first Love.
In other words, what Jesus said is this, the second commandment to “…love thy neighbour as thyself” is similar to or one and the same or just like or equal to or the same with the first and great commandment to “…love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind”. What a revelation! Get the picture beloved?
It isn’t easy for persons who are givers by nature and many in helping professions to love themselves first. Therefore, self-love has to be done by making a conscious decision to put self first and committing to loving yourself first with all your heart, soul and mind. It is only when you have mastered first loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind, that you will be able to love yourself in similar fashion and when you know how to love yourself loving others, even the unlovable would be a breeze. However, be mindful that in your endeavour to self-love that your love doesn’t become selfish. The enemy can take a good think and with his deception cause it to be used incorrectly. Always be sober and vigilant and you will always be victorious.
God richly bless you!
MY PRAYER FOR TODAY
Abba, I worship You for Your great love for me. Thank You for placing Your love in my heart so that I can first love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind, and second love my neighbour as I love myself the same way I love the Lord. Daddy, please teach me how to Your humble servant and give me wisdom to know how to walk in Your love. I declare today that after loving God first, I will take time to love me so that I can love others as I love myself. I declare that I daily walk in love because the love of God is shed abroad in my heart. I pray this by faith in Jesus’ mighty name with thanksgiving. Amen!
